Solo queuing for quick chinese fire-drill

Tonight I decided to go on a wild adventure, into a land many dare not tread. This evening, I decided to solo queue Quick Play in Heroes of the Storm, to find out… “How bad can it really be?”.

Being that I am alive to write this is a positive sign that I made it through. Beyond that I’m not sure how much of my mind actually made it out of the games. The best way I could possibly describe my own experience(s), yes more than 1, is a Chinese fire drill. Now you are thinking to yourself, “Ryan, how could it possibly be that bad?”. Well fortune did not smile upon me this evening, it didn’t even look back longingly over its shoulder while walking away. Case in point, I sit and think back, wonder, ponder the possible issues (As a new player, to PvP) that could have forced not one or two, but three catastrophes.

The first game, I entered, greeting everyone a warm welcome in party, then proceeded to ask “Whats our plan?”. The answer I received should have been the first red flag, “win”. Well of course Socrates! I mean, I know when I knowingly queue for a PvP match, the first thing on my mind is winning, then self preservation. If this first game were a luxury air liner.. let’s say the ‘Legendary Spruce Moose’ from Tail Spin. If that sentence doesn’t date me, nothing ever will.

Now pack it full of lobotomized patients from the four corners of the world. These people will substitute as ‘team mates’. I use that term very generously and loosely. Your ‘team mates’, run off on their own to fight in the 5v5 battle, you follow cheerfully wishing to support your team, onward to victory! You can feel the excitement build and you ride toward the heated inevitable battle that shall ensue in the middle-lane. Upon arriving your hopes that you had so high on this cloud, you felt nearly unreachable way up high on that cloud, then gets shoved off to make room for the reality of the situation. You just watched 3 of your team members get slaughtered.. and it really didn’t even look like they have one tiny inkling of how to play, much less what to do. Perplexed, you retreat to continue to hold them off for as long as possible, then your team runs back into the gnashing teeth of the angry war machine. Only to find themselves re-spawning again, having died… again.

Just then, horrid flashback of Random Battleground flash through my mind.. endless bots running to flags to die mere seconds later. Others running around with butterfly nets enjoying themselves being farmed out to the opposition, like soy in a field. You watch this happen, time and time again. Not one thing is shared or said in party chat. No strategies, no ideas, no communication. This is my experience, as we fall 4, then 5 levels behind the enemy. Notably at this point I am frustrated and then remember, “hey maybe these folks don’t know how to play yet, possibly they don’t understand a strategy that could turn the tides here.” So I politely ask if everyone knows how to play the Spider queen map, if they understood what needed to be done so we may have more of a chance at winning. No answers. Oh wait, no there are the snarky remarks!

I realize that it takes 80-100 games to even correctly establish and assign you an MMR with which you queue with similar players, I understand this.. I do. So then we are pushed back to our core and put on farm, repeatedly. Frustration ensues, but my toxicity level isn’t anywhere near close to tipping point. I then cannot be any happier to see our core destroyed after what I can only describe as, “the most un-organized Chinese fire drill, I have seen……. ever”. Thanks to my loss, I did learn a great deal to things, so it’s okay.

I queue after exiting to then find myself in a group that could almost be it’s twin sibling. I laugh to myself, knowing that this is just the way it has to be. It’s nearly as bad if I had DVR’d the previous match and I sat down to watch the replay of it, only somehow worse. haha

The third game follows suit, my spirit and joy I once held high and proud, now lies in hundreds of pieces. Defeated, confused yet still eager to move forward with my thinking of “Why, why is this happening?”. Then it hits me. When I first played HoTS, I obviously was terrible with the first char I chose, not to mention no knowledge of maps, strategy or even spec builds for PvP. Then I get to thinking, what if “Quick Match” to some people, doesn’t even know that they are queuing for PvP game.

After playing a few games, I feel this is about on par for Random Battlegrounds in WoW and if you do want to have fun or have a chance at winning, you probably should queue with 4-5 people. So you control your fate by being able to at least communicate.  I have yet to confirm this in QM mode. Now its easy to get mad at the game, your team mates or even yourself.

I feel a few things could be done to address this.
#1- Clearly indicate that you are queuing for a strategic PVP battle. (Which is nothing like current setup)
#2- Help the people, share your strategies with them, help them understand the Where, What, When, Why and How. Helping others, helps you. And try to stay patient and understanding, not everyone else has your learning curve or thought process.
#3- The learning curve, with most classes is super steep.

Now, I don’t expect you to be happy you are losing, or seemingly like you aren’t even getting anywhere. No, the responsibility doesn’t fall on you to baby sit or teach these other players either. But what good would belittling, speaking to them in a mean or condescending tones or even resorting to name calling out of anger and frustration. It won’t get you where you want to go, but may actually worsen the situation.

And then next time you decide you are bored and want to Quick Match solo, probably.. don’t. Make some new friends, queue up at 4 or 5 person groups and enjoy yourselves!